When the end of a relationship is expected by a couple, they might both be ready to venture back out into the dating world while their divorce proceeding is pending. However, it’s essential to consider a few pieces of advice before doing so.
DO Be Clear About What You Want
When you reenter the dating scene, it may have been a few years since your last romantic outing. Before you even begin, be truthful to yourself about what you really want to be doing. Are you looking for a casual companionship, or are you looking for another serious relationship? Is this going to be a new year meeting lots of new people, or are you hoping to have a few more meaningful friendships? Whatever your goal is, knowing it in advance can prevent you from getting confused about it later or confusing your dates about your goals.
DO Consider Your Kid’s Feelings
If you have children, it may be harder for you to venture back into the dating world. You’re not beholden to your spouse anymore, but your children might still be reeling from the divorce announcement. While you might be ready to date, your children might not be prepared for it. However, there can be ways to have your cake and eat it too. Consider going out and having fun on dates but not introducing your kids to anyone who isn’t serious dating material. Once you’re sure about a new partner, then gauge your children’s reaction to dating and potentially meeting a new loved one.
DON’T Lie on Your Profile
While it might be tempting to embellish some aspects about yourself online, don’t do it. More divorce attorneys these days have been pulling evidence from people’s dating profiles to use against them in court. For example, if you have children but you say you’re childless on your profile, your spouse’s attorney could use it against you in a child custody proceeding. Whenever possible, stick to the truth.
DON’T Compare New People with Your Ex
Your ex may have been the last person with whom you had a significant relationship, so it’s normal to compare new people to your former spouse. However, this comparison can only hurt new relationships. If you miss your ex, you will find any new partner pales in comparison. If you hate your ex, you will think all new partners look better by comparison (which may not actually be true). Until your feelings for your ex have diminished enough that you no longer think of them on a regular basis, it may not be time to reenter the dating world.
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